30 May - Rest In Peace, Oma

I just heard that my grandmother passed away this Friday. We were very close and she was a big part of my childhood - and actually we stayed close for my adult life as well, talking often over the phone even though she lived in Germany. Her death did not come as a surprise since she was 100 years old and her health was rapidly declining. I was hoping to see her on our trip to Germany in just a few weeks... but life has taught me that there are no guarantees, and you can either accept that or go crazy denying it. Sigh. Unfortunately, that is a litany that I've already had to keep reminding myself of as I've had to face losing Sarah.
As I say a silent prayer to Alice, my very dear and beloved grandmother, I recall so many shared and treasured laughs and smiles. Moments all the more dear now that she's no longer with us. I'm thankful that she doesn't have to suffer any more, but I miss her very much all the same.
Oma, I will love you always. Rest in peace until we meet again.

29 May - Camping and Mountain Biking

Another action-packed two weeks - last weekend we spend time with friends locally and this weekend we headed North to Kettle Moraine State Forest in Wisconsin for a camping trip with the Wennerbergs and Teuschers. We got to go mountain biking on some beautiful and very cool trails there and the kids had a blast going on a shorter loop through the woods, too! Don't be fooled by Ben's long face - he loved it but doesn't like having his picture taken... :P
You can see Ben and Sam poking at the camp-fire (which is apparently irresistible) and also a larger view of the campsite at breakfast when we made omlettes boiled in baggies (it's much better than it sounds!). The last pic is Ben and I flying our Kiteboarding trainer kite. That's a 2 meter kite that helps you learn to control power kites which later helps you learn to kiteboard over water with much larger ones. I've decided to try the sport and Ben wants to do it as well if he can get the hang of controlling the trainer.

18 May - Beach Trip

We had a great trip to the beach in Texas (Padre Island) and got to visit with my parents and my cousin Frank from Germany and his girlfriend Anke. Also got to see my Aunt Mine and Uncle Chale, and my high school friend Chris. Sam found a little sand crab and we had nice walks at sunrise (which I love) and we also had fun playing in the waves. Our new au pair, Lovisa, also arrived last week and got a crash-course in "Lopez family" since she came with us on the trip. Things are going well as she settles in and is starting to take care of the boys. We continue to have a lot going on and are keeping very busy. May was packed and June will be no different!

My training for the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk (the3day.org) this summer is proceeding well. I'm making good use of my new treadmill and am walking/running over 25 miles a week.

Tulips

Sigh... seeing Spring finally take hold with mixed feelings. Our tulips have opened up now. I see many around me excited about being able to get outdoors and do things, and I do get swept up in that from time to time. But for me it also sharpens the contrast against last Spring which had Sarah in it. Ben, Sam and I are doing ok. I find my share of light moments and laughs with family and friends, but a day doesn't go by that I don't think of Sarah. My memories and thoughts of Sarah are my connection to her, and I'm comforted by that connection as I face the reality that life is going on whether I want it to or not. It's something I can hold on to.

6 May - Anniversary

Sarah looks so radiant in this picture from our wedding. Today is our 16th anniversary. My heart aches today - for her, and for what might have been but will not be. I remember so clearly our first days together, and our last. Sarah and I talked about not having any regrets, and I still feel the same. I'd do it all over again if I had the choice. But today I can't help wishing that we could have grown old together, surrounded by our grandchildren. I'm thankful for our boys, and for our life together even though it was cut short. I miss you, Sarah. Sending you all my love, especially today.