11 Mar - Big Day Tomorrow

Update on Sarah - we went to see her onc today. She felt really weak and could barely walk. Her blood "thinness" was off the charts high (ie thin) because the liver normally produces blood coagulants and apparently has not been doing that. So, we spent all day getting her re-hydrated and pumped up with blood plasma to get her blood back into the normal range - required in order to have the ERCP tomorrow to replace her stent and inspect the bile duct system. The plan will be to get her on chemo asap with as high a dose as her liver will tolerate. There's only one chemo drug that stresses the liver the least and has shown some effectiveness for Sarah and that's Taxol. On the bright side, Sarah perked up significantly after all the fluids and had a spring to her step on the way out of the clinic today.

So the big day is tomorrow (Friday) - the status of her bile duct and our hope to bring her Biliruben level down will determine how much chemo she can get in order to fight the advance of her liver tumors.

Today also marked a very tough event for us -- we sat the kids down and used the d-word ("die"). We both felt it was time to bring Ben and Sam fully into the loop on the fact that Mommy might not get better this time. They seemed shocked (there were tears) but also a little relieved that we finally shared this with them. With all the new anxiety in the air and the way Sarah looks/feels, I know they had a sense that something new was going on. It was also important for them to feel informed and be reassured that we were doing everything we could and that they would be cared for no matter what. And that it was ok to talk about their fears and share their feelings with us.

Thank you so much to everyone that has reached out to us through emails, visits and calls. Although I haven't been able to respond to everyone yet, the overwhelming show of concern has touched us both deeply and comforted us.