The boys and I just got back from our trip to New Orleans to bury Sarah's ashes in her family's plot in Ponchatoula, LA and also at the church memorial garden where her father's ashes are. Her uncle Bill and brother Thomas set everything up and all went smoothly. We even had some sunshine when we were at the cemetery, which I thought was nice.But in the end it was much harder even than I had thought. I don't think I'll ever forget the moment when I held the urn with Sarah's ashes for the last time. I was struck with an overwhelming sense of loss and finality. I just stood there and didn't want to let them go... I can't quite explain why, but it was harder for me than going through the funeral. After taking some deep breaths, I did manage to place the urn in the hole and then Thomas and I refilled the hole together. We topped it with a calalily as you can see in the pics. The memorial garden ceremony was sad, but not quite as hard as the urn burial for some reason. Both of the burials went as well as I could have hoped - weather was good, surrounded by family and friends, in very appropriate places. I know I will feel good about returning to either of these sites to remember Sarah in years to come and I hope the boys will, too. Next time we are in New Orleans, we'll get to see the markers with Sarah's name that are being prepared for both places.
5 comments:
Alan,may peace and comfort still surround you. This will be a long road. Sarah is at peace with her Mother and Father. Sarah is alive in your heart. You are such a STRONG man. May you find comfort in your memories of her. Thinking of you all. We are here if you need anything, Always!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It breaks my heart. I miss Sarah terribly and I can't quite wrap my head around how difficult it is for you all. Keep praying for strength and lean on others during this time...whatever gets you through, Alan.
Alan- Your journey with Sarah is unending for there is always Love deeply rooted in Faith. May the Grace of God give you comfort, perseverance and presence for you all each new day. May the memories of Sarah be vibrant and enriching and where there is sadness and grief may you feel the Love that binds you together. Burying her ashes and letting go of the urn must have been so difficult that I can only imagine the depth of how hard that was for you. May Sarah's legacy thrive in each one of you and her love surround you all. Peace
So sorry Alan. I was wondering how you (she?) would handle the burial in light of the divorce of her folks. What a wonderful way for her to be memorialized in both places, I'm sorry if actually completing it (and having to repeat it) caused you additional pain but I think it is such a good solution that she would be glad you did for her. Hang in there, take care, let us know if you can come up with an excuse to come out to San Jose. The weather right now is gorgeous, after much rain. our house is a mess after the move but we are working on it and have a guest room, plus a futon, a hideabed a PS3 and xbox :). There is a boardwalk on the Santa Cruz beach with carnival rides and games the boys would love (and david would love someone to go with him!)... Sending caring thoughts to you to envelop you in this difficult time. Sharon
I can't imagine the depths of your sorrow, though it is so deep because your love is that deep. May she rest in peace.
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