Well, we are keeping pretty busy. Last weekend we visited friends and had the boys make cardboard sleds in preparation for a race next week. Everyone had fun and I pitched in a fair amount as well. Had to drive home with Sam's sled taped to the roof of the van.I started working again on Tuesday this week and I think that'll keep me occupied. As far as how we're doing, the kids seem to be adjusting fine with no major blow-ups. For me, I can make it through the day fine but I constantly think of Sarah and miss her very much. If I get teary-eyed or feel like crying then I just do it - usually I'm alone when that happens anyway. I know she's gone but I don't think the acceptance of that fact has gone very deep yet. Need more time for that. But, it has been a great comfort that I can talk to & hang out with friends/family and feel the support of so many around us. I've discovered that I can grieve and carry on with life at the same time - it isn't an either/or. I can miss Sarah and still appreciate spending time with Ben and Sam and others. It's a mixed up and tangled mess of emotions but I think that's ok. It gives me the freedom to grieve on my own terms.
6 comments:
Alan- I love the cardboard sleds! Sounds like a fun event for you, Ben and Sam. Praying for you daily and missing Sarah, too. Know that we are here for you all. Saw your lovely paper angels on your door and window. You may notice ours on our house. -Holly and The Schafer Family
That looks like a fun project. Peace, love and lots of hugs.
Dear alan, I keep you , Ben and Sam in my prayers. Thank you for this beautiful blog.I was diagnosed with uterine cancer on dec. 30th I draw strength from the way sarah and my brother Gene fought cancer with such courage and I thank you for being such a wonderful husband and Father.May God give comfort to you and the boys. love Aunt Barbara
Exactly. You don't have to be one or the other. Continued prayers for y'all.
Your heart is beautiful -- I have never heard it said any better. Still thinking and praying for you, the boys, and Sarah. Hugs to you all.
Michelle Harold
Alan,
The sleds sound great! Although, I'm wondering how you did it! I gave the kids some boxes yesterday and they just don't go.
I think you're right to grieve on your own terms. Grief isn't something that you can just schedule. I know I've gotten caught at odd times with it.
You and the boys are in my thoughts.
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