30 Dec Update

Sarah got her second Navelbine chemo treatment today. Her red blood cell count was pretty low so she got a shot to boost that as well. We'll be consulting the oncologist at Rush University hospital in downtown Chicago next Tuesday to make sure we're considering all options for Sarah. Also, with the great help of Sarah's friend Ami, we started sending out feelers for clinical trials that might make new treatments available to her. In one encouraging discussion, a trials oncologist from University of Chicago Cancer Center reviewing Sarah's history actually said that Navelbine and Herceptin often produce excellent results and he recommended we see if this works before considering less established methods found in clinical trials. For now, we're seeing which trials she would qualify for so that we know what our options are.
Sarah is feeling surprisingly well right now with some mild fatigue. Mostly we're just struggling with the emotional stress of considering the worst while hoping for the best.

Christmas

We had a great Christmas with Elizabeth joining us here. In one pic above the boys were decorating cookies for Santa, which he enjoyed (yum!). Not sure how we ended up with so many presents, but Ben and Sam had a great time tearing through them all at the crack of dawn Christmas morning! Ben liked his very soft Tigger pillow - what a big hug!

21 Dec - Bad News - Back on the Roller Coaster

Well, we expected that the MRI wasn't all clear when we didn't hear from Sarah's doc before her appt today, but the reality still hit us pretty hard this morning when we learned the results. First of all, her spine is getting better. Some lesions have gotten smaller and others are no longer there. But, the cancer has spread to her liver. There are quite a few growths throughout - MRI shows at least 24.
Since Sarah's current treatment is not fully inhibiting tumor growth, she's now doing chemotherapy again & got her first treatment right away today. She will continue taking Herceptin weekly, but together with the chemo drug Navelbine. Side effects are not as bad as others - should be no nausea or hair loss - and it is thought to target liver mets well. Her next scan will be after 8 weeks of treatment to determine whether it is working as hoped.
Obviously this is very serious and we're worried - it's critical that we find a chemo drug that can clean up her liver mets and prevent spread to other organs. It will be very difficult to wait these eight weeks not knowing whether things are getting better or worse. Because of the fairly rapid growth pattern of Sarah's cancer, the stakes are very high.
We need all the positive thoughts and prayers we can get. Courage and love are key watchwords for us now as we face great uncertainty. I saw a card posted in the chemotherapy room today (fuzzy pic above) and it touched me so I thought I'd share it:

What Cancer Cannot Do
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Faith
It cannot corrode Hope
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit

There's only one very special Christmas gift I want this year, but I won't know until February if my wish has been granted.

20 Dec - Santa's Visit

This evening Santa came by the house - Ben and Sam were so surprised! They really loved sitting in Santa's lap and talking to him. Last year Sam was scared and wouldn't sit on his knee, but this time it was a big hit and he has been talking about it quite a bit. He even looks out of the windows occasionally to check if Santa's out there. :)

15 Dec - MRI Done

Sarah just got back from getting the MRI of her liver and t-spine. Here she is next to our not-yet-decorated xmas tree. So now we have to wait until next week for results. If all is ok, we'll probably get a call from her onc. around Tuesday. If not, we'll probably have to wait until her next Herceptin treatment on Thursday to see what the MRI shows. I'm anxious to get that phone call...
I guess we need to get used to waiting periods like this - it will feel this way every time Sarah gets a scan. I like Sarah's attitude: "Whatever is/is not there in my liver, it's that way already. The test is just making us aware if it so we can take action if needed."

14 Dec - CAT Scan Probably Ok

Well, we got the results of Sarah's CAT scan today and it's mostly good. No new tumors noted and spine hasn't gotten any worse, but it looks like the spots on her liver got bigger. Last CAT scan they showed up and an MRI determined that they were not malignant, so Sarah's going in for an MRI tomorrow evening to further evaluate her liver (and spine, just in case - she has been getting a little bit of pain there). Now we've got to wait until next Thursday when the MRI results come back in order to really breathe easier. If the liver areas are cancerous, then it'll kick off add'l treatments likely including chemo. If not, the we're ok and she can continue Herceptin & switch to a triple dose every three weeks. The nail biting continues...

11 Dec

It's been hectic over the past week and we haven't been taking any pictures, so just a text update today.
I went to Dallas last Wed for a business trip and then Sarah headed down to New Orleans on Thursday night to help Thomas and Elizabeth sort through the things in her father's house. The boys and I have managed ok, but we miss Mommy and can't wait for her return Monday morning!
I did get a few honey-do items off the list and also got a Christmas tree set up - will probably decorate it next weekend.
Sarah's doing well overall, but every ache & pain raises nagging doubts over what is causing it. She's also got mild anemia which makes her tired in the evenings. The doc caught on to that through a weekly blood sample and gave her a shot to boost her red blood cell counts & that will help.
We've got a tense week ahead of us - Sarah gets another CAT scan on Tues and we'll get the results on Thurs during her weekly treatment visit. She'll also be getting her first shot to chemically induce menopause, which will lower her estrogen levels. Since chemical shutdown is pretty sudden, it's usually accompanied by fairly strong hot flashes and other menopause symptoms. With all this going on, we'll have to try a bit harder this year to focus on the spirit of Christmas - and it seems we have more reason than ever before to look to God and each other for comfort and joy. When I remember last Christmas, it's like we were living in a different world. We had no idea how precious life is - every day we have together is a gift.

1 Dec - Snow!

Big snow dump! Bad for dad... lots of shoveling - but great fun for the kids. We all enjoyed the first big snow of the year and it's getting everyone in to the Christmas spirit. Sarah's doing fine as well. She scheduled her next CAT scan for 12 Dec and if all is clear will transition to Herceptin every three weeks (triple dose) which studies have shown is equally effective.

25 Nov - Uncle Thomas In Town

This weekend we had Sarah's brother Thomas visit us and everyone had a great time. Sam and Ben had fun playing with their Roboraptor toys as you can see. I think at first Sam thought this was like a real animal. He was petting it and talking to it!

18 Nov - Birthday Party!

Ben had a very fun birthday party at the bowling alley down the street. Unfortunately, I didn't charge the camera's batteries before the big event, so no pics - only video. :(
However, Ben got so many presents between our New Orleans trip and his party that he's in hog heaven deciding what to play with. Even Sam is getting in on the action - he sometimes tries to claim a toy for himself by asserting, "It's MINE!" But that never works... and usually leads to one or both of the boys getting a time out. :) When will they learn?
Sarah's doing fairly well. It has been nice for her to be surrounded by loved ones in the wake of her father's death and it's also nice that she, Thomas and Elizabeth have been talking over the phone more often. Sarah's weekly Herceptin and monthly Zometa treatments are proceeding normally and she's feeling well. The next bigger thing will be another CAT scan, which we'll likely have done sometime just before Christmas as planned.

15 Nov

We got back from New Orleans on the 15th. The funeral for Sarah's father was poignant and a nice way to acknowledge his passing. Sarah's brother Thomas built a slide show of pictures showing many great memories of Gene's life and many people attended the visitation and funeral.

9 Nov - Rest In Peace, Grandpa

We got the sad news that Sarah's father suffered a stroke this morning and passed away hours later in a New Orleans hospital surrounded by Thomas, Elizabeth and some of his friends. Although he's been battling metastatic prostate cancer for almost eight years, this was still sudden and unexpected. "Grandpa with a beard," as Ben calls him, will certainly be missed. As we make plans to fly to New Orleans for the funeral, we also pray that Eugene now rests in peace and joy with God.

Germany - Schilksee

We spent our last day in Kiel at the beach town of Schilksee. The boys loved seeing all the ships and boats. They also really liked walking along the water's edge - finding and throwing rocks, seeing jellyfish, writing in the sand, chasing swans.

Germany - Out and About

Pics of Oma and Uncle Guenther.

Germany - Hamburg

Went to Hamburg from Kiel for a day by train with Frank, Anke and Jasmin. We walked around, toured the world's largest model train set and did a harbor cruise.

Germany - The Bus

Ben really loved riding the buses in Germany!

Germany - 3 Nov Oma's 96th Birthday

We went to lunch at a restaurant in a historical 300 year old Northern German farmhouse to celebrate Oma's 96th birthday.

Leaves and Halloween

Our leaf pile this year was huuuuge! I was throwing Ben and Sam in to it and they would completely disappear before crawling back out of it. Halloween last night was also a big hit. Sam was a fireman and Ben was superman. They had a great time trick-or-treating with Kira and Braden from next door and the candy haul was pretty big.
Sarah is doing well as we prepare for the trip to Germany. I'll have some pics of our adventures for the next post!

26 October - More Good News

Earlier this week, we got test results that showed that Sarah does not have the BRCA1/2 genetic mutations linked to breast cancer. If the test had been positive, then this would have meant surgical removal of her ovaries and possibly another mastectomy later on. So, this is quite a relief for us! Sarah continues to recover from radiation - still some fatigue lingering, which is not unusual.
We're now getting excited about going to Germany next week. It'll be quite an adventure traveling overseas with the kids. Although we did it when we returned from China last year, Sam is now much more active (and moody when tired)! But, I expect that we'll muddle through the plane travel part and have a great time on vacation together. Otherwise, things are going well. We'll have the Huttenbachs staying with us this weekend for a visit & we have some weekend fun planned with them.

14 Oct - Dad and Son Camp-out

Ben and I joined the local Indian Guides program (now called Native Sons of Algonquin...) and went to a camp-out that was lots of fun. We did many new activites together at a great YMCA camp here in the Chicago area. Also gave Mom a little bit of a break - Sarah continues to recover well from radiation. We expect that she'll get her next CAT scan just before Christmas. Next week we'll be meeting with her oncologist to talk through treatment options from this point - ovaries shutdown is the biggest question (when/how). Sarah's situation is probably as "stable" as it has ever been since her diagnosis in May - and I think that is giving us a chance to recharge our emotional batteries a bit.

12 Oct - First Snow!

Wow - this came fast! It was actually coming down pretty good for most of the day, but melted pretty quickly.

Huge Smile

Sarah caught a big cheesy smile of Sam's on film and I just had to post it...

8 Oct - Done with Radiation

Sarah's last day of radiation treatment was this past Friday. Yeah! She was very happy to finish this up - both because of the effects and also because of the time it took to go daily treatments. We celebrated by going to a nice dinner on Friday and even the kids liked it! This is a picture of Sarah (notice the big smile) with the boys before we headed out. Was a great weekend & Ben and I "camped" in the basement on Sat night, which he got a big kick out of.

1 Oct - Nice Weekend

It was a really busy week for us with me traveling to New York Tues & Wed and my parents leaving on Friday. We went to a Disney on Ice performance of Monsters Inc. on Saturday with the Kurbats and the kids loved it, although at first Sam was a bit freaked out - here's a pic of some of the monsters. Pretty well-done show with great costumes.
Elizabeth also came for a visit today on her way to Wisconsin. The kids were thrilled to see her (as were we) - they've been pretty spoiled with attention over the past two weeks!
Sarah is doing well. Skin is pretty burned, but she says not very painful. Six more radiation treatments to go! Looks like she can do them in the next five days by doubling one up at the end. I think she's really ready to be done with that & we hope it is effective in preventing a local re-occurence at her mastectomy site. After this, the plan is to do Herceptin, Tamoxifen and Zometa unless test future tests show a need for additional treatments. These three drugs should have fairly minor side effects compared with what has gone before. There's really no way to know how effective the radiation was or how well the Herc/Tamox/Zom will work except to hope future CAT scans keep showing no new activity. We're in a relatively good place with this for now, but we continue to be thankful for every day we can spend with each other. Life is too unpredictable to be taken for granted!

24 Sept - Weekend Get-Away

We just got back from a really nice weekend get-away to Door County, WI! My parents are here helping us out & were able to watch the kids over the weekend. It was so nice for Sarah and I to spend this time together and Door County really welcomed us with nice weather and plenty of great things to see & do.
Sarah is doing pretty well - half way through radiation treatments and the fatigue still doesn't seem too bad. Radiation is no picnic, though - skin is very red and starting to get a bit raw. Sarah applies ointment and corn starch every few hours to help minimize skin symptoms (who would have thought corn starch would be used for that?). But as she says - well worth the benefit. As you can see, Sarah's hair also continues to fill in but it's not quite time to consider a haircut yet. :)

13 Sept

Ben had his first soccer game this past weekend and Sam had his first official school day, which is one day per week pre-school. No tears - he was happy to stay & play rather than getting anxious when mommy left! Sarah's spirits are high, but she is definitely feeling the effects of radiation therapy: sun burn on skin (just switched from Aloe to "burn cream" due to the itching) and some fatigue as well. Three more weeks of radiation and we're worried her skin will get worse, but time will tell and there are ways of treating the skin symptoms.

Labor Day at Home

Well, we had a relaxing Labor Day weekend! Stayed at home mostly (I worked around the house). For some reason we ended up catching up with quite a few people: Sarah's friend Nicole visited & stayed with us Friday, and we got to see college friends PJ and Sharon + boyfriend David on Sunday. Sarah's college friend Susana from Dallas also called, whom she hadn't talked to in some time. As for me, I traded emails with some old classmates from Germany - my 20 year highschool reunion took place last Saturday in Nuernberg, Germany. I was there in spirit even though it just wasn't practical to fly over in person with all that's been going on.
Sarah's feeling fairly well. Radiation treatments continue and today (Tuesday) she got her weekly Herceptin dose again.

Thomas The Tank Engine Day

This Sunday we went to the "Day Out With Thomas [the Tank Engine]" at the Illinois Railway Museum with the McMahons. Everyone had fun and the kids loved riding on the train which was being pulled by a life-sized Thomas (and the help of the diesel locomotive at the rear of the train). Sarah's hair is growing back enough that she is comfortable not wearing hats unless she needs protection from the sun. She got her weekly Herceptin and the monthly Zometa on Tuesday and is going in every day for her radiation treatments. That seems to be going fairly well. Radiation sun burn is starting to be more apparent, but the Aloe cream helps. Fatigue also has not set in too bad and we're able to do things like this Thomas Day, which is great.

Ben Starts School

It's official! Ben started Kindergarten and loves it so far. Here he is on his first day with his friend Kira from next door. We also got to see his school and meet his teachers at a PTA night.

25 Aug - Good News!

Sarah's had two radiation treatments and everything is going well so far. You can already see a tan in the treated area, but no nausea and also no fatigue yet.
And... we got an unexpected call from Sarah's oncologist about the liver MRI results. He had good news and wanted to share it right away: no evidence of cancer mets in Sarah's liver! So, she's officially clear of mets except for the spine and those have not progressed since the CT scan she had in May at the time of her diagnosis. This really put a spring in our step and gives us some hope where there's been mostly uncertainty so far.

22 Aug - Good news so far

Several updates - Sarah and I went in yesterday to start the radiation setup process. She'll go back in tomorrow and then start the actual radiation therapy to the right breast area on Thursday (every weekday for approx. 6 weeks). Sarah's less worried about feeling bad on radiation - most people feel it's not as bad as chemotherapy. She also got another Herceptin treatment today, which will continue weekly, and got more fluid aspirated from her mastectomy site. A lot less than last week, so maybe that's the last time.
We also got the results of Sarah's CT scan from last week. Mostly good news with one question mark: brain and all organs except the liver showed clear of any tumors and the lesions in Sarah's spine were stable. The liver showed some "hypodensities" which are often a result of chemotherapy, but they can't rule out early mets based on the CT scan alone. So , Sarah is going in for an MRI of her liver this Thursday which should help clarify whether we need to be worried.
Overall Sarah feels pretty good and we're watching her hair quickly grow back (see pic above). Despite the many doctor's visits, we're staying positive and active. I'm working hard on re-doing our stairs to the upper bedrooms which will make them much nicer looking & less squeeky, and Ben is excited about his first day of Kindergarten tomorrow! Meanwhile, Sam has learned how to open and-or climb over most of our baby gates and also how to get past the baby-proof door knob covers. So now he's got free run of the house and we've got to constantly keep an eye on where he is. Sam's turning in to quite a little firecracker. He watches his older brother very closely & learns some things from Ben that we would rather have left for later. :)

16 Aug - Whirlwind Week

Sarah just got this blanket, made by her online friend Carissa, and really likes it!

With Sarah's brother Thomas in town, and me scheduling 2 business trips this past weekend, it's been pretty hectic.
Sarah got her 1st treatment of Herceptin yesterday - with no apparent signs of side-effects. We're staying positive.
Sarah also had a CT scan done today (Wed) which will be used to verify that no add'l tumors have formed in her brain or other organs. We should get the results by the end of the week, or surely by next Tuesday. It's going to be tough to wait for these results...

12 Aug - Mommy's Hat

Sarah's brother, Thomas, and his girlfriend, Kerry, are visiting us for the weekend. Here are some pics of the boys having fun trying on Mommy's hat during an evening cookout in the backyard. :)
Sarah's feeling better & we got confirmation that she can start Herceptin - so her first treatment is scheduled for next Tuesday! Also important next week will be a baseline CT scan of Sarah's brain and organs which we are praying will show all clear of tumors. If there are no new tumors and radiation cleans up the breast area, we've read that spinal mets like Sarah's can be controlled for long periods - and that's exactly what we are hoping for. We're emotionally torn between being eager to hear CT results that are encouraging and dreading the possibility of bad news. They say cancer is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, and that's definitely true. Seems like we've had quite a share of lows though, and I'm ready for a high this time...

8 Aug - Staples Out

Another milestone in the mastectomy recovery for Sarah today - she got staples out and everything seemed to be healing ok. We're hoping this means she can start Herceptin next week. This is a nice picture of Sarah & the boys in a rare moment of calm (lasted less than a minute!) :)

4 Aug - End of a Long Week...

It was a hot week and the only fun thing to do outside for the kids was to swim! Here's Sam in our little backyard pool.

It was also a long week full of doctor visits. Tuesday Sarah got her drains tubes taken out; Wednesday night one of the drain holes started leaking quite a bit so we were up late putting thick dressings on it & got up every two hours at night to check it; Thursday morning oncologist visit for red blood cell booster shot; Thursday afternoon first meeting with radiation oncologist & then after that over to the surgeon to fix up the leaking drain hole - which ended up being two stitches. So... we're ready for the weekend! Overall, Sarah is recovering well from surgery and eager to get the staples out (next Tues) and start Herceptin.

My parents are returning to San Antonio this Saturday, so we'll have to adjust to life with less help again... They've really helped us a lot over the past two weeks so that Sarah and I could focus on getting her through the mastectomy, and the kids have enjoyed having them here!

27 July - Wishing God Didn't Trust Us So Much

Today I'm reminded of a quote that my cousin Andres included in one of his emails to me:

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle... I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

This morning we were told that pathology tests on Sarah's removed breast tissue showed cancer cells at the margins and in all 16 lymph nodes taken out. This means that the tumor had penetrated in to surrounding tissues adjacent to the breast.
So, Sarah will now be doing radiation treatment next in order to try & clean up the chest area as soon as her incision has healed up enough (in approx. 4 weeks). In the mean time she has started Tamoxifen right away today and will start Herceptin asap as well (2-3 weeks). She'll drop Tamox during radiation since it interferes.

Mother Gwynne, the Asst. Rector at our church, brought by a little angel today which I found inspirational & wanted to share. On its wing it says "Miracles Happen." To me, the outstretched arms of the angel seem to invite us into a comforting embrace, while at the same time encouraging us to let our spirits soar and fly free no matter what challenges we face in our physical lives. I do expect miracles - not sure what form they will take, but I trust they'll be just what we need. I'm praying for both physical healing as well as emotional/spiritual healing that lets love and hope displace fear and hurt in us as we face the future.

I just wish He didn't trust us so much...

26 July - Sarah's Back Home

Sarah finally got to come home from the hospital today! She's feeling pretty good, although we still have to make sure her red blood cell count comes back up into the normal range. The loose shirt is hiding two very uncomfortable drain tubes that keep fluid from building up at the surgery site. We're going back to see both Sarah's oncologist and surgeon tomorrow - could be that the drain tubes can already be removed, otherwise it'll be after the weekend.

Also, here's Ben - the proud T-baller after his last game this season. He really seemed to have fun playing! And... what kid can resist the fun of kicking up that ballfield dirt? :)