Wednesday, December 22, 2010

21 Dec - A Tender Goodbye


Sarah was relieved from her suffering tonight at 9:45. She slipped away peacefully surrounded by love. Thomas was with her until just before the end and Elizabeth, my parents and I were with her as she passed. I'm so grateful that I was able to be at her side, whispering into her ear and holding her as she let go. She's our angel now...
Sarah wanted us to remember her as she was before the diagnosis, so I've posted a picture of her and I in Nov 2005 and a picture of her the Christmas before, which felt right given the season. I think she'll find a way to be with us for Christmas this year in whatever way she can. I can still feel her presence. That's all for now - not sure it's really sunk in yet.

72 comments:

Jennifer said...

Alan,

We are so very heartbroken for you, Ben, and Sam, but also relieved that Sarah went so peacefully. We are here for all of you.

Jennifer, Jeff, Erica

Wendy said...

We love you all so much.

Anonymous said...

There are no words to express how sorry I am. My thoughts will be with you all today and in the days to come. Please give Ben an extra big hug for me.
Carrie Cioni

Anonymous said...

Alan,
I've been following your blogs and remembering you all in my prayers. I know how in the end it all seems to go so fast. So glad that she was able to go peacefully, at home, with those she loved with her. I know she and Melinda did not meet in this life, but they will have much to share in the next. Please know you and your family will be in my prayers in the coming days and weeks.
Nancy Gordon

Amy said...

Alan,we are so very sorry for your loss. Sarah was such an amazing person . You and the boys are surround by love. She is at peace now. She truely is your Christmas angel. "sleep in heavenly peace". We will miss you Sarah.

Anonymous said...

Alan, Ben and Sam I am so very sorry for your loss :) Heaven has a beautiful angel now.

Kasia(nov2000)

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry. I pray the Lord gives you strength now and always. My prayers are with you and always will be.
Mary

Ellen said...

I am so sorry that all of you did not get more time and more Christmases with Sarah. I was remembering a New Years Eve spent with you and Sarah on Treasure Island. Auld Lang Syne, Sarah.

Tim said...

Alan,
I am Christy's husband and have been following this with her. My deepest sympathies go to you and your family.Sarahs life touched so many more families that perhaps you know. While her life was short she made a powerful impact on others. Much love to you and your family.
Tim Adam

Michaela said...

Alan, Ben, and Sam,

I have no words to express how sorry I am.

Sarah went surrounded by the people she loved and felt the love you all gave in return and that is the best gift of all.

Michaela

Christy said...

Our hearts go out to you in your time of sorrow.
Peace, Prayers and Blessings

Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer. ((HUGS)) to you all.

Sarah, RIP for your suffering has ended thank you for your friendship and your love over the years. I was blessed to know you for the last 11 yrs and you will be missed.

Anonymous said...

Alan...you have always been so strong for her. Now let those around you be strong for you. She is with God and God with you and the boys. / Sue

Anonymous said...

God bless and keep you all.
with love,
Jen & Dan

Jen said...

So glad that she was able to go peacefully, at home, with those she loved surrounding her. Our thoughts are with you, Ben and Sam. Prayers for strength and understanding.

Carissa in KS said...

My deepest sympathies to your family. I am grateful that Sarah is no longer suffering but I heartbroken for those left behind. Please know that you do not grieve alone.

Anonymous said...

Peace be with you all. We were all blessed to have Sarah in our lives.

Love, Michelle and Andy Harold

Bonnie said...

Look for Sarah in all of the little things...she will be there. Know that her life & story has touched so many as well as yours & the boys. I am grateful for the short time I knew her. Peace is with Sarah now let it be there for you & the boys. Look for her she will be there.
Bonnie Alcaro

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you and the boys during this difficult time. Hugs to all of you.
Jodi Copersmet

Anonymous said...

Alan, Ben and Sam,

I am so sorry. Sarah has touched many lives, especially ours, the McCabes.

Sean McCabe

Larry Gelbaugh said...

Alan, Ben, and Sam -

I am so sorry. I read this a few hours ago and went back to bed to let it sink in. Two minutes later, my three-year-old woke up, and crawled into bed and asked for a hug. My wish for you this season is to have people do the same to you every time you need it, which will be a lot. Virtual hugs aren't as good as real ones, but I offer one nonetheless.

Larry & the Gelbaugh Family

Linda said...

Alan,

Our love and support are with you, Ben and Sam. We are so very sorry and are thinking about you and praying for you.

Linda, Bob, Joey and Susie

Anonymous said...

Alan and family

I am one of the Nov00 Mommys... I am from Australia so was never blessed enough to meet Sarah, you, nor any of the other Mums. But I have been the recipient of Sarah's comforting and strengthening words when I have really needed them. So please as so many of us are telling you allow our love and thoughts to carry you all right now.... she was and is an amazing Angel.... May you find times to smile just a little this Christmas.... God bless you and yours xxxx
Rebekah (Western Australia)

Anonymous said...

Dear Alan, I'm so sorry. Sarah has been so strong through all of this, may you and Ben and Sam continue to feel her strength throughout your lives.
Michele Miller

Anonymous said...

In our world, there are quiet heroes... In our memories, we cherish them ... In our words, we honor them ... In our hearts, they will always live.

You have all been such "heroes" to so many throughout your journey ... you have touched and changed so many lives ... and that is truly a miracle.

May God bless you all with all His powerful peace and strength during this time. May your sorrows be lifted with wonderful memories. Your Sweet Sarah will be remembered forever. She is safe and well and in the presence of God.

Anonymous said...

Alan,
We have known you since our boys began at Patton School, and we will never forget Sarah's beautiful face. We will remember her smile and grace, her strength and patience. I know she will always be with you and Ben and Sam. We are sending hugs your way and we will be here for you.
The Scherers

Anonymous said...

Dear Alan,Ben and Sam,
Sam is very good friends with my Mikey in his class. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family and will continue to be. My heart is broken for your loss. We are all sending our love, support and prayers. Your family has been a true inspiration and the love you have both shared has touched so many.May God welcome her and hold all of you in his arms. Carmela Linker

Unknown said...

We love you and our hearts are aching. May you feel God's love surrounding you and helping you through this sad time.

Rochelle said...

I can't post as long a comment as I'd like because my toddler is grabbing my hand and pulling it away to get me off the computer. But I wanted you to know that Bob and I are thinking of you and yours and wishing you strength, comfort and peace.

(Rochelle (Nov. 2000)

Unknown said...

Our hearts ache...may you find God's love and comfort surrounding you during this sad time.

Anonymous said...

Alan, Ben and Sam,

We are so sorry for your loss. We are comforted in knowing that Sarah is at peace and was surrounded by love in her passing. We pray that god comforts all of you during this difficult time. Sarah was an amazing person we will never forget her.

Much love,

The Dempsey Family

Anonymous said...

There aren't adequate words to express sorrow. We are sorry for your loss. We will keep you in our prayers. Jim, Gretchen, Tessa, & Mia Constantine

jtdenkmire said...

So sorry for your loss. And yet, like others here, glad for the peace of it all. That's the best present you could have hoped for...and to be surrounded by friends and family and their love. Take good care, Alan, and best to you and your boys.

Josh

Anonymous said...

I don't know you or Sarah, but have followed your blog and am so sad to hear this news. I hope she finds peace on the other side, and that your family can heal and celebrate her life. Love to you all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Alan, Ben, Sam and Family,
We are so sorry for your loss. Our family continues to pray for you all and we offer our love and support. Sarah's legacy lives on in each one of you. May Peace, comfort, strength and love surround you. Sincerely, The Schafer Family

Anonymous said...

Alan,

We are so sorry for your loss, but heartened by the peace and love that surrounded her. May that same peace and love continue to surround you in the days that lie ahead. We continue to pray for you and your family.

Much love,
Caryl and Alan, David, Michael

Anonymous said...

Keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers.
Wishing you strength & courage in the coming
days. Our hearts are breaking......
Love, the Moran Petzold family

Anonymous said...

Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. I have never seen a family exhibit such courage and grace through adversity. I will continue to pray for you, Sarah and your sweet boys.

Alicia Vial
STM '89

Anonymous said...

Alan,

I just learned about Sarah's battle with cancer a few days ago. I am so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys, and with Sarah. I truly hope you can take some comfort in knowing she is at peace and free of pain.

Vanessa LaWare

Anonymous said...

Alan, you don't know me but I am a friend of Eone Moore Becks. I am so sorry for y'all's loss. Sarah, like you said is y'all's angel now. My wife said the same thing when both of her parents passed from cancer. Sarah is looking down on y'all and protecting you each day. I will still be praying for you and your boys.
Barry Perkins, Ms

Anonymous said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Pat Litberg

Anonymous said...

God Bless The Family

Unknown said...

You're not alone

Brad Porter said...

Alan,

I am so sorry and sad! I am glad that she is no longer suffering, and that she had love around her. You and your family are in our thoughts.

Brad and the Porter Family

Sally Mohamed said...

Alan, Ben & Sam,

My thoughts are with you. There are no words to express how heavy my heart is for you. Sarah was a true blessing for us all. I hope you some how find comfort that Sarah is no longer in pain & she is at peace. I know she will be in your hearts for all time. I was blessed to have her in my life as a friend. She will be missed but never forgotten.

Sally

Julie said...

Alan,

I just started reading your entries after Denise Hafford posted a prayer request on facebook. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and son's mother. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Hospice is a wonderful thing and I am happy that Sarah was able to go peacefully with the ones she loved nearby and in a place she loved.

I wish you the best in your mourning, with much love to support and carry you through to an easier time.

Julie

Anonymous said...

Love and comfort and support to you and the boys Alan for your loss and deepest admiration for your strength and spirit and love. Sharon

Anonymous said...

Rest In Peace Sarah.
Prayers are with you and your family.
I do not know you, however, feel your pain deeply.

Ami from Nov00 said...

Alan, Ben, Sam,

My heart is breaking. My most sincere and deepest sympathies are with you all. I can't even begin to describe the sadness that I feel and your loss and pain is so much bigger and deeper than mine. I know that you know this, but it bears repeating: Sarah was a true friend, a kind soul, a bright shining light in a world that sometimes can be dark. And while the world is dark right now in the unfairness of losing her, Sarah's legacy and love will shine through the pain we all feel now. We Nov00 moms are creating a book of memories of Sarah for Ben and Sam, based on her posts, phone calls, visits, and emails with the Nov00 moms. We hope this can help Ben and Sam see a side of their mother that she won't be able to tell them about.

May she rest in peace, now without physical pain. May all of you find peace and comfort in any way that you can, as you feel the burn and numbness of your loss simultaneously.

Further words fail me. So I will just say again: I am so very very sorry, and Sarah was beloved by our Nov00 moms group. Thank you so very much for sharing your lives with us through this blog.

Unknown said...

I am very,very sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

We will never forget Sarah's kindness and bravery in all her struggles. She had so much patience with the boys and was a joy to watch with them. She will be greatly missed. Sending much love and many prayers to Alan, Ben and Sam and her many close friends. Jane Treppa

Anonymous said...

Dear Alan, Ben and Sam,
Traveling back home....and I see images that remind me of Sarah everywhere. The sun poking through the dark clouds...a tree standing strong against time and elements yet offering shelter to the animals underneath her...a watchful large white bird perched on top of a leafless tree...so many images and numerous songs too. Sarah's presence is everywhere.
You have been so strong. Please let us know how we can help you and the boys. We are all keeping you close to our hearts.
With deep admiration and love.
Tracy, Eric, Rocco and Bella

Anonymous said...

Alan,

I just learned yesterday of Sarah's brave battle with cancer. I can't find words to express my sadness that don't seem trite when viewed through the words of that sadness. I can say on reading back through the blog that her strength and courage are an inspiration. Our prayers are with you, Ben, Sam, and all your family. May you take comfort in God's infinite grace in these days.
Peace and love to you, Craig Blome

Anonymous said...

Alan,

My heart goes out to you and your family. Sarah was very lucky to have you, selfless and strong, by her side. You'll all be in my prayers.

Rose Unite
(Baker '90)

Tara said...

My prayers will continue for you and those sweet boys. Even though I never met Sarah, how lucky I was to have known her as our oldest boys have grown. Godspeed, Sarah. Tara - Nov. 2000

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I am Sealy Faught's sister and I have taught at St. Martin's for years. I have emailed STM and asked that they say a prayer in chapel for you and your family after winter break. I hope you don't mind. Stay strong and you would be amazed how many people are praying for you and your family....Katie Faught

Scott B. said...

Alan,

With how busy things become at this time of year, I hadn't been on your blog in a while and just wanted to check in today to get an update. As I read through your posts, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. I know it wouldn't have mattered if I was checking everyday, but it just felt like sometimes you worry about and focus on the wrong things.

Our family is going to be in Chicago between Christmas and New Years. If you're interested in visitors, please let me know and we'll work a way to come by. I certainly will understand if now is not the right time.

My heart aches for you. I'll pray for strength for you and your family.

Drop me an email if you'd like us to swing by (scott at boxberger dot net)

Scott Boxberger & family

Anonymous said...

Alan, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Sarah fought her battle with courage, dignity and grace. I am forever grateful that I had the chance to meet and speak with Sarah at the race last June. In the short time I knew her, I learned some very important life lessons...which I will never forget. God bless you for being such a devoted husband and father. You are truly an inspiration to all of us. Your family is on my mind tonight and forever in my heart...

Natalie Bers and family

Alden said...

Alan,

My heart goes out to you and the boys. Thank you for sharing with us and keeping us up to date. I know it must have taken strength and courage to put all of this into words.

Alden

Phil Miller said...

Alan - We are so sorry for you and the boys. It's never easy. I was fortunate enough (still not sure that's the right way to put it) to be with both my parents when they passed from cancer in hopsice care a few years ago. It was hard but important to be together to the end.

I still think of Sarah running past people on the Powderpuff field with that huge, beautiful head of hair :-) It's hard to believe.

You've had to bear a lot and it's going to be as hard or harder in the coming months. My unsolicited advice is to be open and accepting of support. You have to give yourself space to grieve and not be everyone else's rock all the time.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Phil Miller

Unknown said...

When I read the posts to the blog, I can see that Sarah will be remembered by many people in many ways. It is beautiful, wonderful, and inspiring that memories of Sarah will be carried in these hearts and will be passed on to others. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Lynn, Mark, Tommy, and Kate Wiemold

Unknown said...

Alan,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


Kent and family

Anonymous said...

I couldn't read and not post. I am Sarah's friend from St. Martin's in grade school and my husband is a good friend of Thomas's. I reconnected with Sarah over facebook two years ago and have followed her battle since then. She truly was amazing and has touched many lives in her struggle. Our hearts are heavy with this news and our prayers and thoughts go out to your sweet family. We are so so sorry. Love, Kim Sanders Vanderbrook and Kevin Vanderbrook

Anonymous said...

Alan,

We are so sorry. We know that you will continue to feel Sarah's presence and that will be a blessing. Our thoughts have been with you and will continue to be.

Jeff and Melinda Burpo

Anonymous said...

The tears I have cried, Alan...the tears shed for your boys having to grow up without their amazing mother there to kiss their boo boos, to teach them chivalry, to fold them in her arms when they are sick or scared.

I am honored and privileged to have been in your home in October. Our boys are the exact same ages and I (with your permission) would like to follow them as they grow and mature into young men.

If there is ANY solace I take from Sarah's unfair lot in life, it is that she won the lottery when she met you - and her boys are in the absolute best hands possible. I know that and her faith are the only things that permitted Sarah to so gracefully exit stage left. Your beautiful articulation of the love and suffering of this time has had an incalculable effect on people all over the world. I will be forever grateful to you for sharing Sarah's journey with us. We are all better people because she lived.

Heartbroken,
Eone

eonebeck@comcast.net

Anonymous said...

We are so deeply sorry for the loss of such a wonderful lady, wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt. God bless you and the boys in the future as you have been blessed with Sarah. Prayers from us to you all.

Alicea & Chris and Lizzie(nov00)

Anonymous said...

Alan,

Know that you have friends willing to do whatever you need, whenever you need it...now...3 months from now...or whenever. It doesn't matter what, and it doesn't matter when.

God chose Sarah for a reason, and he chose you because you are strong enough to handle it (for which I have the utmost respect). Be strong. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

- Mike Grubbs

Anonymous said...

My last memory of Sarah was on a beautiful day in October. Wendy had brought her over to Olympic Park, and she seemed thrilled to be outside. She was very peaceful. She was quiet, but had a lot of smiles. I am so thankful to have known her. Find peace in the certainty of eternal life. Emily and Quinn are praying for Ben and Sam. With deepest sorrow, Sara Born

Sharps said...

Alan,

We are so very sorry for your loss. May God grant Sarah everlasting peace and your family courage through this terrible time. Our love and prayers are with you and the boys now and in the days ahead.

Ruairidh, Christine & Jamie.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been able to find words to express my sympathy since you posted this last journal entry, Alan. I can only say I am so completely heartbroken over the loss of your beautiful wife, wonderful mother to Ben and Sam, and a dear and kind friend. I am warmed by the thought that you, Ben and Sam will have this diary and the beautiful comments from so many people about Sarah and your family. We hope all of these kind words provide comfort to you and the boys long into the future. May you find courage, peace and comfort in knowing that you are all loved and we will do whatever needs to be done to help you all.

Love to you,
Todd, Lesley, Tyler and Reese Delahanty

Kathy said...

Alan-
You do not know me but my sympathies go out to you and those beautiful boys.
My family attended church at Parkway Presbyterian Church in Metairie with the McEachin's and Sarah's mother taught me in the 4th grade. Sarah and I grew up in Sunday school together and I have been able to follow your blog through Eone Beck, as we are close friends in Richmond. The world is small.

My prayers will continue for you, your family and Thomas as w you all heal.
May all of Sarah's found memories comfort you now and always.
Love- Kath Hayes Fallen
Sarah is an amazing woman and I feel like

Ben said...

I read this and practically cried with sadness. I am really glad we have lots of support and love from nice neighbors. Ever since I've had Firefox on my laptop and have had this blog up I read December over again and again. It is sad but has good memories and it is not always only December! Ben

Lee said...

When I read the posts to the blog, I can see that Sarah will be remembered by many people in many ways. It is beautiful, wonderful, and inspiring that memories of Sarah will be carried in these hearts and will be passed on to others. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Lynn, Mark, Tommy, and Kate Wiemold