The boys and I are holding up ok, but it feels very strange for me to be following the same routines that I did before last Tuesday. Taking Sam to guitar lessons, taking Ben to karate, going shopping. My mind says, "Yes, that's normal," but my heart screams, "No, this isn't right! Nothing is! She's gone and that makes everything different!" I know I just need to keep taking it day by day and giving it time - and staying focused on the boys will help, too. The little things that come unexpected and remind me of Sarah are the hardest. Yesterday it was her favorite slippers that she wore right up until the last day -- now laying in a spare room with no more feet to fill them. Today it was "going out to dinner" and the realization that I won't be asking Sarah "Thai or Mexican?" anymore. I can ask the boys, but they'll just answer "which is more likely to have grilled cheese sandwiches?" Sigh... precious time. I miss you, Sarah!
Sarah's Uncle Bill asked me to post this request for emails with "Sarah stories:"
Dear Friends of Sarah,
I am Sarah’s uncle, the younger brother of her mother Jane. I am trying to help Alan and the boys by putting together a book of memories from you that they can look at in future years. Most of my memories are of a young girl growing up here in New Orleans and would very much like to have your recollections as a student, young adult, mother & friend.
What I have in mind is maybe a little bit different from a funeral tribute – a real-world memory or anecdote about Sarah which will collectively paint a good portrait for Ben & Sam 5-20 years down the road. In fact, while I’m asking you now, you may want to draft something and put it aside for a few days and then look at it again later – I almost always have additional thoughts after a first draft. Any digital photos would be great.
Ideally send it as a Word attachment, but any format will do. Please put Sarah in the subject line of your e-mail so I will be sure to open it.
Please send whatever you think appropriate and thanks in advance,
Bill Settoon
bsettoon@bellsouth.net
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4 comments:
Alan,
My heart aches for you as you try to get on with everyday life. I think it is important that you are keeping the boys in as much of a normal routine as possible, even if it doesn't feel right. Sometimes just going through the motions is all you can do. Nothing will ever be quite the same without Sarah, and why that is a tough reality, it is a testament to how much Sarah was loved by you all. Continuing to pray for you all.
Anne Peters
I will spread the word among the nov00 moms ... Ami
Know that those moments of remembering will continue for you but I hope that some put smiles on your face through your tears remembering the good times and the healthy times. Sarah's spirit continues to be an inspiration. Thinking of you & your family.
Bonnie Alcaro
Alan,
Your family is in our prayers every day. Tommy wanted Ben and Sam to know that we were able to light a candle for Sarah and your family in St. Paul's Cathedral on Wednesday and say a prayer for you all. This was a way to participate in the service as we cannot be there today.
Lynn, Mark, Kate, Tommy Wiemold
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