9 Dec - Difficult News

Sigh... the results that Sarah received this week have turned Advent bitter-sweet for us. Despite the successful stent replacement, Sarah's bilirubin did not go down and it fact it seems to be climbing. We learned earlier this week that her tumor markers are above 500, the highest they have ever been since the beginning, and a CT scan done yesterday shows significantly larger tumors in her liver and pancreas - probably have been growing slowly for some time due to intermittent chemo. It seems that her liver is not functioning properly due to the tumors and she can not tolerate any chemo, which is the only thing that could make it better. So, we may be left with focusing on Sarah's comfort and preparing together for the end. Her onc is helping us look at any and every option. One thing we'll likely try next week is to see if a surgically implanted external drain tube from the liver can bring her bilirubin down far enough to receive chemo. It feels like a long shot, but it's a lifeline that offers some hope.

Sarah and I are facing this together and drawing strength from each other, as we have all along the way so far. We also continue to be very open with Ben. It's a lot for a 10 year old to handle, but we felt that he needed to know that time may be short and very precious. What's important is that we stay connected to the present - today we have each other, today we can give hugs and share smiles and love. Sometimes easier said than done... but it's where I come back to after a wave of worry passes.

Thank you to everyone that continues to reach out to Sarah with calls and support. It means a lot to both of us! It's very comforting to have a circle of friends and family that cares so much. I'll post updates on how next week is going.